Project Update #9, 24.02.20

Things are still slow between SSNAP and I. Thus, the project remains slow as a whole. However, regarding the features from family members, things have grown to a point where I couldn’t work with them further – as I will explain.

In both John and Linda Friel’s book and Philippa Perry’s, the idea of systems is alluded to. In Perry’s book, we’re told how “Children are individuals, but they are part of a whole system too.” Meanwhile, in John and Linda Friel’s book, we’re given a longer statement: “For true health to occur in the new system that hopefully emerges from a crisis such as this, every member must change if the system is to remain intact. Sometimes, when only one or two members of a system become healthier, their only alternative to maintain their own health is to leave the system.”

Due to unforeseen circumstances, Gemma and I have had to act in such a way, temporarily withdrawing from the system that my parents are in. Though this has hindered my plans to get my parents to delve deeper into their features, 9 months, my arse has benefited as a result.

It has led to me seeing more value in the section of the book that addresses the life after our tragedy – in a hope to help others through such dramatic, changing times in their lives too. For example, I have written a chapter called: I picture it like circles. In this chapter, I speak about the thought process Gemma and I had before we left the system and why we left it.

Referring to the statistic in John and Linda Friel’s book, wherein they state that 90-95% of family systems are unhealthy/dysfunctional, it is evident that such a chapter is needed. With such a high statistic, you can argue that there is a high chance that readers of 9 months, my arse will be in a position to question, or a position in which they are already questioning, these systems – if they have not left a system already.

Furthermore, my counsellor highlighted to me that, in such emotional events (like the birth and passing of a premature baby), any dysfunction simmering under the surface can come out. Thus, readers of any book could be a position to question the system they are in – but readers drawn to the content and subject of 9 months, my arse could be in an even stronger position to question them.That is, assuming people experiencing or people who have experienced something similar to myself will be attracted to a book that addresses said experience.  

The more I read and hear about family relations, the more it comes clear that, in a book that is designed to benefit those who have gone through traumatic events, family must be addressed.

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